February 2012
7 posts
Out of reach;
I want you infinitely more now that I can’t have you.
I tried to brace myself for the worst;
but that surely wasn’t enough. I’m devastated right now. I want to talk to you so badly right now like how things used to be, but I can’t because you’re not there for me anymore and you never will be again. I hate knowing that one visit could have changed all of this. I hate having to force myself to make a once-huge part of my life become nothing. I don’t remember...
You know;
I don’t like change, and I don’t like to be ignored. Why violate that? Grrr.
Distance;
It’s hard not being able to see you on a regular basis, or any basis at all for that matter. What bothers me is that it really isn’t even the distance that is what is keeping us apart, but it’s our lives. I wish I had a binding reason to keep trying, but all I have is hope that things will get better. I hate that there’s no tangible end to this. I hate not being in control....
Build-up clean up;
Ever have those days where you want to cry for no particular reason, but just because the tears are there and ready to be shed? I feel like today is one of those days. I don’t want to keep it all inside. That could be detrimental. But I can’t keep it all inside either. I hate not knowing, and right now, I don’t know.
When good days go bad;
I feel like it’s worse than just have an overall bad day to begin with. These give you hope and tear them down. I hate feeling helpless.